January 29th - Cynthia

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been getting more interested in finding a church that we can attend as a family.  Elizabeth and I had "church shopped" in the past, and I do think that the one that we visited as a part of this blog will be the one that we end up going to from here on out.

With that said, even if we do find one that we really like and attend regularly, I still want Elliot to experience other faiths and other expressions of faith.  I want to bring him to temples and to mosques, and I most definitely want to bring him back to the church that Elizabeth and I took him to yesterday.

My boss, Andy, heard about my blog this month and set me up with Cynthia, who warmly welcomed us to attend service with her family.  And it was quite the service.

Cynthia

Upon arriving at the church, we met Willie, Cynthia's husband, and their daughter, Katrina.  The Farabees stuck out just a little bit, as we were the only white family there.  We laughed about this, and Willie took us in to meet with Cynthia, who was getting ready to sing as a member of the Voices of Galilee, one of the choirs at the church.

Singing in choirs has been a part of Cynthia's life for as long as she can remember.  Her father was a pastor, which meant that she grew up in the church.  

Cynthia: It was a small church, probably no more than 100 people.  Not like this church!

Cynthia and her family attends the Galilee Missionary Baptist Church and has done so for the past 8 months or so.  Located in a rural part of Winston-Salem, it easily houses over 1,000 people during it's two services.  It's a beautiful, expansive place, with free childcare during worship, classrooms, and a giant meeting hall. The service we attended was special because there was a guest minister there, which had attracted a larger crowd.

Lars: The reason that I wanted to do this project was that I felt like so many people get into their bubbles, and with that we stopped listening to each other.

Cynthia: We still aren't listening.  There's nothing we can't work through, but we have to talk.  We'll never solve all of our issues, but there's so many areas of compromise that I don't understand why we can't move forward.

Take the last administration.  There were so many things that he tried to accomplish and we all got to a point where we stopped talking, so it all came to a halt.  I'm encouraged though that at the grass roots level we are saying we can be better and do better. We are right on the precipice of something bad and it's up to us to come back from that.

I mention that I'm trying to make sure Elliot grows up learning to be respectful of everyone, not just those people who look just like him.  I thought making sure he got to experience other cultures and other ways of seeing things was important.  I told her that we went to the Women's March, and coming to church was another way of us getting him to see a larger part of the world.

Cynthia: It's interesting because when I come to church, that's really the only time I'm actually around black people. The neighborhood we live in is mostly white, and it was jarring at first for Katrina when we came here because she wasn't used to being in this kind of environment. 

Elliot will be a reflection of what you do every day.  It's great that you brought him to the march, but that's an extraordinary thing. It's the ordinary things that will shape him. Who mommy and daddy are will shape who he will become. If you curse, your child will curse. If you disrespect each other, then he'll learn to do that too.

Cynthia's daughter, Katrina, is the Goddaughter of Martha, my boss's wife.  She's a bright, intelligent, funny young woman, and she wants to go into forensic science when she grows up.

Cynthia: We prayed for her for a long time, over eight years.  I'm one of twelve children, and I didn't want to be childless.  So I remember praying a special prayer to God.  I asked Him, "Can you just give me one? I'll love that one child forever, just give me one."

We found out we were going to have twins, but unfortunately lost one of them early on in the pregnancy.  But I didn't grieve, because I knew that it was God checking me.  "You asked for one, here she is."  And I said "I hear you, thank you."  And twelve years later I know that it's a blessing that she's here.

What's the meal that reminds the most of home?

Cynthia: Traditional holiday meals.  Your turkey, your ham, dressing...basically a starch overload. That just reminds me of home.  And we also do it now even if it's not the holidays.  Whenever someone comes back home, that's what we make for them (this was an idea that Elizabeth and I liked a lot and one that we will be implementing when Elliot grows up).

Will the world be better in 20 years?

Cynthia: For some. Hopefully for most. 

Lars: How do we make sure it's better for most?

Cynthia: We have to be engaged. We say the word "they" way too much.  It's "their" fault, or it's up to "them." You should be praying for our leaders, because our leaders just don't lead "them," they lead "us." We need to say "our" more.   These are "our" problems, we need to all work together.  We need to take the word "they" out of our vocabulary and be more active

If you could bring back one musician, who would it be?

Cynthia: Luther Vandross.  His music transcended races and faiths.  It was about feelings and emotions, love and family and loving everyone.  There were tragedies in his family, and his mother had many kids she had to bury.  I would bring him back.



Cynthia had to leave after the interview to sing, so Elizabeth, Elliot and I sat with Willie and Katrina during the service.

It was unlike any church experience I'd ever had.  There was a full band up front jamming out, and for at least an hour there was non-stop, call-and-response singing.  People were encouraged to go up to the front and find healing at the altar.  They were asked to lift their hands and praise God. The woman next to us stood up out of the blue and started dancing a complicated jig.  The woman behind us rocked and whipped her hair back and forth (Elliot kept nudging me and pointing up to her). People clapped after the songs were over, and they shook hands and hugged throughout it (I was used to that only happening after a minister said to spread peace to your neighbor).


Several of the women in the choir next to Cynthia became overwhelmed with devotion that they actually fainted.  Katrina, who was sitting next to me, leaned over.

Katrina: Wow, that usually doesn't happen until later on, this is early!


The service was wonderful, loud and boisterous and thankful.  No matter what hardships they had gone through, the people in that church felt blessed to be alive that day and they wanted to show it in whatever way they could.  Whether that was jumping up at random points of the songs to sing along and wave their hands, or to cry and give thanks, or have several people fan them when they got too hot; no one batted an eye at any of it, it was just a normal service at Galilee Missionary.


At one point, one of the ministers asked if there were any guests.  We stood up and were applauded along with the others who were new to the church. Everyone acted like we were supposed to be there, and it felt incredibly welcoming and comforting.  It was a community that opened up its arms and said that no matter who you were, you were there to give thanks and praise and that's all that mattered.


On our ride home, Elizabeth and I talked about what we had just witnessed.  We decided that the biggest difference from what we had seen at other churches was that, while you have a community, in most churches it's all individual.  You kneel, you pray, and you're very much within yourself.

That wasn't the case at Galilee Missionary.  There, it was a communal effort.  People were held and lifted up and supported in a way that was beautiful and spiritual and inspiring.  Instead of a somber affair, this was a celebration of faith, a joyful, rowdy celebration.  I'm so glad that I got to meet Cynthia and her family, and that we got to share in this experience with them.  It's an experience that I hope to share with Elizabeth and Elliot again soon.