I spent most of my childhood up through my early twenties in Maine, and I consider that "where I'm from" (though Greensboro, NC has quickly become "home"). With that said, there was about a four year stretch where a dorky, gangly kid from a very small, mostly white town in Maine (I would be describing myself here) lived in New Orleans, which was about as different as you could get from where I grew up and still be classified as being in the same country.
During that time, I attended T.H. Harris Middle School for seventh and eighth grade and East Jefferson High School for the start of high school. I made some lifelong friends, and I made some incredible memories. Some of them were painful (it was middle school, it sucks wherever you go), and some of them were life-changing in a very positive way.
I've done a pretty good job of keeping up with friends down there (Elizabeth got to meet some of them during our last hurrah at Mardi Gras before Elliot arrived). Others have faded away, which is the natural course of many friendships at that age.
Facebook and social media changed all that, and it's been easier to check in on friends and see what they have been doing with their lives. But so many of our friends on Facebook just stay on a list and we don't interact with them. We may "like" one of their photos or status updates, but often that's where the "connection" stops.
Last night, on my way home from work, I got to catch up with one of those friends.
Last night, on my way home from work, I got to catch up with one of those friends.
Ryan
I knew Ryan in middle school (he ended up attending a different high school than I did). We shared many of the same honors and GT classes (read GT as "nerd classes"). We were friends, but not the best of friends. Like so many kids that age, proximity meant that we were friendly and that we laughed in class together and we would occasionally ride bikes together after school. But with the passing of time, those kind of friendships tend to fade away (Ryan described us now as "long lost acquaintances", which I think was fitting).
Ryan: But the thing of it is that Facebook has allowed you to reconnect with people like that, which I love. It's been great to see how everyone's doing and where they are with their lives.
A problem with it though is that social media has allowed us all to expand our social circles, but it might have diluted our ability to change our minds. (Exactly why I'm doing this!)
After middle school, we parted ways (Ryan went to Lutheran, another high school in the area). He then went on to pharmacy school (minoring in philosophy, which he found to be his true passion). With that said, it was better in his mind to be a pharmacist and dispense philosophy than to be a philosopher and dispense pills ("You tend to get in trouble that way," he said laughing).
Ryan worked in a retail pharmacy for awhile, but now works as a medical science liaison, and he really enjoys this new path.
Lars: What does a medical science liaison do?
Ryan: Ok, so I work for a pharmaceutical company, and I'm out in the field assigned to specific drugs. I help doctors in a supporting role with new drugs, but not in a sales type role. They'll call in and ask questions, and I have to provide evidence based answers about the drugs and how to administer them. I also do a lot of assistance with research.
He has always loved traveling, describing a trip to the Grand Canyon after eighth grade as moment that lead to a "shift in my thinking." "That moment I realized the beauty of the Earth and it stuck with me," he said. Because of this love of seeing new places, Louisiana became a place where he felt stunted, where he saw the same people doing the same things over and over again.
Ryan: I feel like if you've never lived 100 miles from where you grew up, then you're a townie. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it definitely impacts how you see the world because you've never really gotten to experience it.
Plus, the last time I was in Louisiana I broke my foot at a trampoline park so never again! Any place with a wheel chair on call is not a good place and should be avoided.
His travels eventually took him to San Diego, where he has lived for two years and loves it. "There's great diversity here," he said, "everyone has an interesting story. I want to ask everyone I meet, 'Who are you and how did you get here?'"
What is your favorite joke?
Ryan: Favorite joke...wow. I'm more of a drama guy. This isn't a joke but what makes me laugh are people that see things differently.
Ryan later sent me this as his favorite joke:
What kind of pants did the Mario Brothers wear?
Denim denim denim, denim denim denim...
What meal reminds you of home?
Ryan: Hands down, it's red beans and rice that my dad makes. When he comes out here to visit he makes it for me, when I go home he makes it for me, and then he freezes it and sends it back to California with me. I love it.
What was the most significant thing that happened this year?
Ryan: The existential threat to democracy worldwide. What 2016 told me was that you never know anything, it is all possible.
California is very, very blue. With that said, I feel like if you have conservative views out here you are much more accepted than if you have liberal views in conservative states. So I don't know how much we will feel it out here. I have gay neighbors and lesbian neighbors, and while they were upset by it all, they were also saying how lucky they felt to be in California.
I think that it's time to start being angry. Liberals are too nice, and we can't afford to do that anymore. We can't sit back and let this all happen without getting out in the mud and doing something about it.
Will the world be a better place in 20 years?
Ryan: I think so. I thought we had been getting better already, but I think we might have to zoom out further to make that distinction, like "We're better than where we were at during WWII." The next four years are going to be really difficult, but I'd like to think we'll be ok.
I have a question for you now though...
This was a first, but I was excited to see where he'd go with this.
Ryan: If you have a time machine, and you can only go forward and you can never come back, how far ahead would you go?
Lars: One minute, because I wouldn't...
Ryan: No no no, that's a crap answer and I know it's because you don't want to miss your family blah blah blah (we both laugh a lot at this). You have to at least go 30 years into the future with this.
Lars: Ok then, I want to go to the end. Take me to the end of it all.
Ryan: Excellent, that's what I think too. How far out do you think that'll be?
Lars: Um, I'd like to think we've got a long way to go, but I don't know. Let's say the year 3000, I bet we can make it to then.
Ryan: You are way more optimistic than me! I'd say 300 years tops.
I think that's the biggest difference that I felt talking with Ryan last night. I'm a bit more of the "screw if the glass is full or empty, I have a glass woo hoo!" type of guy. Ryan isn't quite there, but is still super friendly and was incredibly gracious for volunteering to be interviewed by someone he hasn't spoken to in many, many years.
Ryan seems to be doing really well, and that makes me very happy. He's got a job that he loves, has found a place to call home, and has been in a relationship for the last year. He is still incredibly dry and acerbic, which is what I remember of him growing up. He's got a wicked sense of humor, and we spent most of our conversation laughing. Not a bad way to reconnect with a long-lost acquaintance.
Ryan: But the thing of it is that Facebook has allowed you to reconnect with people like that, which I love. It's been great to see how everyone's doing and where they are with their lives.
A problem with it though is that social media has allowed us all to expand our social circles, but it might have diluted our ability to change our minds. (Exactly why I'm doing this!)
After middle school, we parted ways (Ryan went to Lutheran, another high school in the area). He then went on to pharmacy school (minoring in philosophy, which he found to be his true passion). With that said, it was better in his mind to be a pharmacist and dispense philosophy than to be a philosopher and dispense pills ("You tend to get in trouble that way," he said laughing).
Ryan worked in a retail pharmacy for awhile, but now works as a medical science liaison, and he really enjoys this new path.
Lars: What does a medical science liaison do?
Ryan: Ok, so I work for a pharmaceutical company, and I'm out in the field assigned to specific drugs. I help doctors in a supporting role with new drugs, but not in a sales type role. They'll call in and ask questions, and I have to provide evidence based answers about the drugs and how to administer them. I also do a lot of assistance with research.
He has always loved traveling, describing a trip to the Grand Canyon after eighth grade as moment that lead to a "shift in my thinking." "That moment I realized the beauty of the Earth and it stuck with me," he said. Because of this love of seeing new places, Louisiana became a place where he felt stunted, where he saw the same people doing the same things over and over again.
Ryan: I feel like if you've never lived 100 miles from where you grew up, then you're a townie. And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but it definitely impacts how you see the world because you've never really gotten to experience it.
Plus, the last time I was in Louisiana I broke my foot at a trampoline park so never again! Any place with a wheel chair on call is not a good place and should be avoided.
His travels eventually took him to San Diego, where he has lived for two years and loves it. "There's great diversity here," he said, "everyone has an interesting story. I want to ask everyone I meet, 'Who are you and how did you get here?'"
What is your favorite joke?
Ryan: Favorite joke...wow. I'm more of a drama guy. This isn't a joke but what makes me laugh are people that see things differently.
Ryan later sent me this as his favorite joke:
What kind of pants did the Mario Brothers wear?
Denim denim denim, denim denim denim...
What meal reminds you of home?
Ryan: Hands down, it's red beans and rice that my dad makes. When he comes out here to visit he makes it for me, when I go home he makes it for me, and then he freezes it and sends it back to California with me. I love it.
What was the most significant thing that happened this year?
Ryan: The existential threat to democracy worldwide. What 2016 told me was that you never know anything, it is all possible.
California is very, very blue. With that said, I feel like if you have conservative views out here you are much more accepted than if you have liberal views in conservative states. So I don't know how much we will feel it out here. I have gay neighbors and lesbian neighbors, and while they were upset by it all, they were also saying how lucky they felt to be in California.
I think that it's time to start being angry. Liberals are too nice, and we can't afford to do that anymore. We can't sit back and let this all happen without getting out in the mud and doing something about it.
Will the world be a better place in 20 years?
Ryan: I think so. I thought we had been getting better already, but I think we might have to zoom out further to make that distinction, like "We're better than where we were at during WWII." The next four years are going to be really difficult, but I'd like to think we'll be ok.
I have a question for you now though...
This was a first, but I was excited to see where he'd go with this.
Ryan: If you have a time machine, and you can only go forward and you can never come back, how far ahead would you go?
Lars: One minute, because I wouldn't...
Ryan: No no no, that's a crap answer and I know it's because you don't want to miss your family blah blah blah (we both laugh a lot at this). You have to at least go 30 years into the future with this.
Lars: Ok then, I want to go to the end. Take me to the end of it all.
Ryan: Excellent, that's what I think too. How far out do you think that'll be?
Lars: Um, I'd like to think we've got a long way to go, but I don't know. Let's say the year 3000, I bet we can make it to then.
Ryan: You are way more optimistic than me! I'd say 300 years tops.
I think that's the biggest difference that I felt talking with Ryan last night. I'm a bit more of the "screw if the glass is full or empty, I have a glass woo hoo!" type of guy. Ryan isn't quite there, but is still super friendly and was incredibly gracious for volunteering to be interviewed by someone he hasn't spoken to in many, many years.
Ryan seems to be doing really well, and that makes me very happy. He's got a job that he loves, has found a place to call home, and has been in a relationship for the last year. He is still incredibly dry and acerbic, which is what I remember of him growing up. He's got a wicked sense of humor, and we spent most of our conversation laughing. Not a bad way to reconnect with a long-lost acquaintance.
Great interview! Both of the guys sound incredibly handsome.
ReplyDelete